Sports 02/08/02

No applause, no 'oohs' at Logan Olympics, just the human circus

By John Taylor

Editor's note: John Taylor, an Aggie alum, has worked for NASA and taught public relations for the department of journalism and communication.

I've just come from the Logan Olympiad I, and found it most entertaining and well worth the price of admission.

Especially since it was free.

Unlike the regular Olympics, where the figure skaters compete one at a time, Logan speeds thing up. Last night we went out to the Eccles Ice Center where we got to watch the world's best male figure skater and two of the top pairs skaters all whizzing around on the ice at the same time.

So if one program started to get slow you just looked somewhere else. It was a big plus that the excitement was accentuated by the constant danger of collision.

The skaters were all Russians, but they knew how to wave in English. The crowd was mostly Utahns, and while we were willing to applaud in Russian, we weren't allowed to. There was a strict "no applause" policy in place. But when the singles skater landed a quadruple jump followed immediately by two triples, the audience found it impossible to sit on its hands. A short burst of clapping ensued. That brought out a lady with a stern look and a lecture.

She said there was to be no clapping, no "ahhing," and no "oooing." I think she may have also mentioned something about no farting but the kid sitting in front of me clearly realized that he was unlikely to get caught. She was followed by a guard wearing a big pistol, who glowered at us but kept his gun holstered. I had hoped he might do something about that kid.

Tuesday the Logan Olympiad featured a hockey scrimmage between the Swiss team and Slovakia. These people were a lot bigger than the figure skaters. I think the Swiss hockey team may have the edge in the competition, because unlike the Slovakians they actually had their own skates and owned a puck.

That country must be new, so afterward out in the parking lot I asked somewhere exactly where Slovakia is.

"On that first bus," was the reply.

The torch from the other Olympiad came through town right after the Russians quit the ice. I forget exactly which Olympiad that is, but it is the one with lots more letters after its name. Like maybe five or six X's and some C's and such. Maybe a V in there somewhere.

What amazed me was not the Coca-Cola truck that came by ahead of the torch with people throwing 20-oz Cokes into the snow banks alongside the road. No, that was interesting but the amazing thing was that the Salt Lake Olympic Committee had someone actually assigned to turn the gas on for each torchbearer just before they ran! Then that same person would stay in place and turn the gas off for the runner whose turn had just ended. I wonder if the ancient Greeks had gas turner-offers for their Olympics.

But all this excitement is too much, so we plan to leave town before the other folks get their games started. After you1ve experienced the Logan Olympiad everything else is just more of the same.




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