Work outside or stay at home? Moms must choose

By Miriam Watkins

December 21, 2004 | Every day Alyson and her little brother Troy walk home from school and into an empty house. Alyson is only 12 years old, but she is in charge of her little brother, who is 9.

She makes them a snack, usually consisting of a bag of chips and microwavable pizza. Then they will sit down in front of the television or sometimes they will go out and play with some of the other neighbor kids. Alyson and Troy's parent both work during the day, so they are not there when they get home from school. Alyson and Troy do not know any different, so Alyson is use to taking responsibility for her little brother. That is the choice that many families have to take, have Alyson and Troy sit at home for a couple hours or lose on valuable income.

Being a mom has been called one of the greatest jobs ever. For some women staying home is very rewarding, but for other they do not get satisfaction from being "just a mom." In 2002, about 72 percent of the women in the work force had children under 18. If that is compared to 1975 only 47 percent of mothers with minors worked.

For some mother working outside of the home is unavoidable. Their contribution to the family budget is badly needed to help them make ends meat. Other families just like the added income when two parents work. For each family the choice of what to do with the children when they work is a very personal decision.

There are plus and minuses for each choice. If both parents are working then they will be able to provide better thing for their family, take more trips and buy newer things. On the other hand if one parent stays home with the children they will not have to pay for daycare, there is more bonding time with the kids, and you can save money on the expenses for working.

If having to have both parents working in the household it is a hard decision about childcare. Who do you want to leave your precious children with to help raise them? Parents have to decide what kind of environment they want their kids to spend the majority of their day.

"I remember going to day care after school when I was in elementary school. I wasn't very excited to go, but my parents did not want me sitting at home by myself. I was force to make some great friends while I was there," said Lindsey West from Pleasant Grove, Utah.

Now days there are a wide variety of day care or after school services. Depending on the age of the kids might depend on where they should be sent. Before they are in elementary school there is more of the traditional daycare or nannies.

Many companies are making it easier for mother to come back to work since so much of our workforce is made up of the working moms. Working Mother Magazine complies a list of 100 Best Companies for a working mother. At Working Mother is a complete list including the top ten companies in the United States.

For the kids that might be a little too old to go to day care, like Alyson and Troy, or a nanny is just too expensive The Boys and Girls Club offers after school activities for elementary and junior high age children. They have a chance to do their homework and play some games. In the summer camps are offered at numerous places like the YMCA and many city's Parks and Recreation. This offers the kids a nice change from sitting in the classroom.

Many times the camps are educational and fun. At the YMCA in Encinitas, Calif., they have camps anywhere from surfing, Harry Potter Pottery, to the more traditional soccer and basketball camps.

YMCA camp counselor, Charlie Letts said, "I have been doing these camps for every summer for the past three years. I've seen some of the same kids every year, but they love it. Every week they do something different. Last week I got to practice my jumps at the skate park. I probably love it more than the kids do."

Many families are rethinking the dual family income. In 2001, a 10-year, 10-city federally financed study found that the longer young children spend in day care away from their mothers were more likely to be overly aggressive by the time they reach kindergarten. This could be a concern for many families.

Natalie Sadler, from South Jordan, Utah, had a mom that stayed at home until she went to college.

"I loved being able to come home after school and telling my mom about what happened at school that day. It was not like she was home baking cookies or anything which is the major stereotype of stay at home mothers. She was just there for me," said Sadler.

A surprising trend has started in America, families with a father working and a mother staying at home has been slightly increasing since the late 1990s. In 2002 the number increased from 38.7 percent from 37.8 percent in 2001 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Families are realizing the benefits of having a parent at home. Families save on day care expenses, convenience foods, dry cleaning and travel expenses. There is a decline in the amount of income brought into the family, but the makeup for that in time spent with their children. While most families think about having the mother go back to work when the kids reach middle school there is a growing number of parents who think that is one of the most important times in a kid's life.

"Everything starts in middle school," said mother of two, Cajsa Taylor. "That's when kids start outsmarting babysitters and congregating at the houses of kids whose parents aren't around. There are too many temptations and ways to stray."

For every family the choice for what their children do is something that should be made together. The battle between stay-at-home moms and working moms will continue each thinking their job is more important than the other. In the end it all comes down the what the parents think is best for their children and their family.

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