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Fire's lesson: Attitude is everything in life
By Rachel Schwab
December 20, 2004 | One thing I have
learned in life is that attitude really is all that
matters. I have had many experiences in my life where
I could have easily turned inside myself and for years
wonder why horrible things always happened to me. I
think as humans we get caught up in our own lives and
focus on the negative aspects, but always remember the
positive aspects of other people's lives. I believe
that through every experience, opportunity, failure
and success, we are growing and discovering our true
self.
I once had an encounter where I truly did "discover
my true self." I consider it an experience, opportunity,
failure and success all at the same time. I learned
to always have a certain degree of caring for every
person I meet. I feel that this event made me the person
I am today. My mom always referred to this experience
as my "refiner's fire," but I never truly understood
the meaning of that phrase until I had the chance to
reflect on my life and this experience. The story is
told and retold to many people and almost used as a
daily reminder to any of my family members of how precious
life really is, and how we must live every minute of
life to its fullest.
It all started the night our family invited some of
our cousins to go to my grandparents' back yard for
a party. Their yard is a long, steep ravine with a fire
pit at the bottom. We had a bonfire ready for roasting
smoky hot dogs and gooey s'mores. It was getting late
and cold, so I went and wrapped a big, warm blanket
around me and sat on the brick ledge of the bonfire
pit. As I sat there I was fascinated by the hot red
flames and stared at this beauty of nature. After declining
numerous invitations from my cousins to play tag, I
bundled up even more and focused intently on just staying
warm.
As I sat on the ledge of the pit I suddenly felt a
push from one of my cousins. I immediately fell backwards
into the flames. As I laid on my back in the hot, burning
ashes, there were flames raging up on all four sides
of me. As I looked up, I wondered where I was. My mind
was racing with what I should do next. Should I turn
around, just lay there, hope someone would come rescue
me? Before I had to make my decision, my dad immediately
jumped into the fire, picked me up and threw me out
on the cement. My head automatically slammed on the
pavement and everything went dark. When I finally regained
consciousness, I remember looking down at my body to
find all of my clothes burnt off and my skin a sickly
yellow color, so thin I could see my bones protruding.
My family stood there in complete shock and didn't
know what to do. As tears ran down my face, my dad carried
me and ran up the ravine, every step he took seemed
to put me closer and closer to the darkness I became
so well acquainted with. My dad kept tapping my cheek
and every so often I would wake up and remember the
pain I was in and only wish I could go back to the darkness
for good, where I felt nothing.
My dad jumped into the driver's seat of the car and
as my uncle held my conscious little body, I could hear
my dad praying out loud that I would live. We went straight
to the emergency room at the local hospital and put
my life into the doctor's experienced hands.
The next thing I remembered were the sounds and sensations
of being in a hot tub of water filled with sanitary-smelling
anesthetic. As I looked around I wondered where I was.
I could feel my burnt skin being drenched in the anesthetic,
but still feeling more confused than ever. The only
thing that made me feel better wasn't the morphine or
the numbing solution, it was the sight of my parents
and few friendly doctors. Only minutes later I saw a
nurse get a six-inch wire brush. I just kept wishing
it was to go help the patient in the next room, but
as she approached me with a kind smile and a tear in
her eye, I knew I was the next victim. She started with
my arm and scraped up and down my burnt skin. She continued
across my whole burnt body. I screamed, cried hysterically
and threw the books they gave me to take my mind off
the pain into the warm water. Nothing could stop her,
and she persisted to put me in more pain than I had
ever been in. As I slipped in and out of consciousness,
I can still remember the doctors telling my parents
what a miracle it was that I made it through this experience
alive.
This refiner's fire left me with most of my hair burned
off, third-degree burns on my legs, arms and hands,
along with a new perspective on life. As a 7-year-old
child, I was just starting first grade and was ready
to go play and meet new friends, but I couldn't. I remember
going to the grocery store with my mom and having a
wig or hat on to hide my hairless head and seeing the
looks in the other children's faces of disgust. I was
left wondering if the real world was really this cruel.
As I look back on this incredible event, I reflect
on the "experience and failure" to be the worst incident
that has ever happened to me, but then again, the "opportunity
and success" part was absolutely unforgettable. Miraculously,
I was left with minimal scars on my arms and legs, which
constantly serve as physical reminders to never take
life for granted, and to always remember that my attitude
really is all that matters.
NW
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