Think you are alone with your battles against alcholism? Think again

By Denise Albiston

December 13, 2004 | When Les woke up in jail, battered, beaten and bloody, he knew it was over. He knew what he had longed to know for years. Les clearly knew he couldn't out-think it, he couldn't avoid it and he most certainly knew he couldn't out-live it. He surrendered. He was powerless.

"I never expected it to happen. I was blind-sided. I wanted to be dead. I lost my family. I lost my girlfriend. I lost my job. I lost everything. I never intended to be back in that place, I never intended to be starting over–again," Les recounted.

It was April 1989 and Les had been experimenting with some controlled drinking. Les explains his controlled drinking as an attempt to limit that amount of alcohol he drank. However, he said he was never successful. He said that one night after work, he grabbed a six pack of beer and split it with his roommate. The next night he bought a 12 pack of beer and split it with his roommate. And the next night, he said he bought a case of 24, and this time he wasn't sharing.

"Saturday, I have no recollection of. Sunday, I have no recollection. Monday is gone. Tuesday I remember being arrested and whipped on pretty hard. Wednesday, I came to in jail. As it turns out I had pulled a robbery," Les said.

As of August 2004, Les has 15 years of sobriety–the longest span of his life. He credits this achievement to the traditions and program of Alcoholics Anonymous. In keeping with those traditions, this article protects anonymity and uses first names only.

"What it boils down to, is I was just an average alcoholic that broke people's hearts because I couldn't stay sober," Les said.

Like many other diseases, alcoholism is chronic and lasts a person's lifetime. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), nearly 14 million people in the United States–one in every 13 adults–abuse alcohol or are alcoholics.

According to Alcoholics Anonymous website, alcoholism is a self diagnosed disease. However, the website suggests that there are some common trends that may indicate alcohol abuse or alcoholism. The website said that when people begin drinking more than they intended, start getting in trouble while drinking, or experience memory lapses; they may be struggling with alcohol. The website explains that nobody in AA, and nobody outside of AA, can diagnose another with the disease. The website said that in order for an alcoholic to stop drinking, he must first admit to himself, that he has a problem.

Deena Hone, a substance prevention specialist from the Bear River Health Department, said her organization tries to create awareness for the four stages of alcohol use. She said that during the first stage, people are more social about their use and rarely become intoxicated. She said as people progress into stage two, they will start to anticipate the nights they get to drink. She added those people begin to look forward to Friday and Saturday nights because they get to drink.

Hone said as people move into stage three, people are no longer just looking forward to the nights they can drink, they are becoming obsessed with them. She said that by this stage, getting drunk is more fun because they are not feeling as sick as they were in stage two. Hone said, "They're not getting sick and passing out as often because their tolerance has gone." She said they are still just as impaired, they just don't notice it like before.

When people move into the fourth stage, Hone said, the physical addiction occurs and the body is now dependent on alcohol. She said an individual reaches the fourth stage because of tolerance levels. She added that people become addicted to the way they feel on alcohol. Every time a person drinks to impairment, that person raises their tolerance level. As a result, she said, it takes more alcohol to achieve that special feeling.

Les said, "When other people drink too much, they start to feel sick and out of control; I feel in control. Even when my body is vomiting because of the alcohol, my body is demanding more, and that's what makes me an alcoholic."

Les said he has an obsession with alcohol that assures him that he can handle it like a normal person. He added that although he has been sober for 15 years, his brain is thoroughly convinced that this time, if he had a drink, he could handle it. He said he never intended to get drunk, he just wanted that "buzz-on" which everybody else had. Les said all he ever wanted to do was go out, have drinks and relax.

"I never got that buzz-on. I would just start out with a couple of drinks and somehow I'd pole vault into drunkenness," Les said.

Hone said the best information about alcoholism as an inherited disease comes from research conducted on adopted children. She said that while some children have a family history of alcoholism, often how that child is raised has more influence in determining if that child will become an alcoholic than that child's genetics.

"If someone has a parent or a grandparent that suffers from alcoholism, they are four times more likely to become an alcoholic because they genetically have a higher tolerance. They are the people that can drink their friends under the table, and that encourages them more," Hone said.

Les said his mom has buried two sons as a result of alcoholism and watched the other two slide through the gutter for years before finally surrendering to the fact that if they wanted to have any kind of life, they had to stop drinking. Les said until he finally surrendered, his whole life was about 50-cent drafts.

"Nobody wants to see their kids lose control. I may be genetically programmed to be an alcoholic, but the reason I am an alcoholic is because I drank a whole lot for a long time. Not because I didn't get a pony when I was 8 years old," Les said.

Jaylene McNeely, the intake coordinator for the Bear River Health Department, calculates the amount of people in the district that have been treated or refereed by the courts for treatment of alcohol. She said the district including Cache County consistently rakes in the top five for the total number of people treated for alcohol. However, she believes that the reason this area ranks so high is because of the county's adopted policy of no tolerance.

McNeely said that compared to many other counties in Utah, Cache County police officers, attorneys and the drug court system are more active in prosecuting alcohol-related cases. She added that she believes people are prosecuted fairly, but they are prosecuted to the full extent of the law in the hopes that individuals won't violate alcohol laws again.

Ninety percent of the people treated for alcohol are court-ordered, McNeely said. She added that due to the progression of the disease, the sooner a person is introduced to a treatment program, the less likely they are to evolve into an alcoholic.

"I don't think we are higher than other places because of our family values. I think we are a little behind the national average. Our schools are doing a great job, but if kids want to find and use alcohol, they will," McNeely said.

Les said when he grew up in Cache Valley, he and his friends learned how to guzzle alcohol because there wasn't a management model presented to them. He said rarely did he see parents who drink a glass of wine with dinner or a beer while watching a football game. He said the model he and his friends developed was the "drink it as fast as you can model."

Les said, "In communities like Cache Valley, a kid's first experience drinking is often at a bonfire with everybody around the kegger yelling, ‘Chug! Chug! Chug!'"

He said children in Cache Valley are taught good values and they are instructed to stay away from alcohol, but many children still have the desire to experiment. He added that in other cultures alcohol is an acceptable part of society and kids are taught how to drink more responsibly. In conservative communities, Les said, there often is a certain stigma attached to alcohol and children learn how to drink on their own. He added that these children often learn to drink in the closet, they learn to drink under the bleachers, and they learn to drink out by the barn.

"Unfortunately, they also learn to drink as much as they can as fast as they can and that becomes ‘how to drink,'" Les said.

McNeely said while the majority of cases seen at the health department are court-ordered, the department encourages any person who may have a problem with alcohol to contact them. She said their policy is to help individuals of all types who may have a substance problem. She said when somebody contacts them of their own free will, they are as dedicated to that person as anybody court-ordered.

"I never planned on getting trashed at night," Les said. He added somewhere, at sometime, somehow he ended up with this disease. He said he just wanted what he saw everybody else doing.

He said, "I never planned on getting trashed or going to jail. I wanted what I saw everybody else doing. I wanted to come home at night, have a couple of drinks and relax. I didn't intend on hurting the people who loved me, and I didn't intend on being an alcoholic."

Les said that when left to his own devices, he can't last three days without alcohol. He said 15 years ago he surrendered to a power greater than himself. Les now spends time counseling people that are just like he was. He said talking with people that are struggling with alcohol reminds him of who he use to be, and how easy it was to get there.

"If I forget for one minute who I am and where I came from, I'll be right back where I was 15 years ago," Les said.

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