90% of USU students are married before graduation

By Jake Oyler

December 20, 2005 | As school reconvened for the fall semester at Utah State University, Professor Les Roka of the Journalism and Communication department gave his corporate communication class some simple instructions: "I would like to play a get to know you game," he said. "Tell me something exciting and original you did over the summer."

Many of the typical answers were given: a trip to Hawaii, read a good book, or sold pest control, but when the first student said that she got engaged, many of the students were taken back by her response and replied with a chorus of "Oooh." As this senior level class proceeded with their answers, it was discovered her response was neither exciting, nor original. A fifth of class also shared the exciting news of their engagements as their "original" summer event.

Utah State is unlike any other university. The marriage population at USU tends to be higher than a typical university outside of Utah. According to a recent study organized by USU along with the Governor's Commission, 90 percent of USU students will be married by graduation. Most universities boast only a small percentage of their students are married.

The 90 percent statistic will not come as a surprise to most people familiar with Utah's religious culture. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are often reminded of the importance of families, which can cause some USU students to feel a pressure to be married. Nicole Hostetler, a USU student studying technical theater, said she feels that in Utah there is a lot of mphasis placed on marriage, and not enough emphasis on "finding connection with someone."

With family values and togetherness emphasized in Utah the way it is, one would think the bond between husband and wife would be more solid among couples and divorce would be much less of an issues, but as Utah's statistics show, that is not the way it is.

David Schramm, of the Family, Consumer and Human Development department at USU, has compiled a series of Utah marriage statistics and found that Utah's divorce rate is slightly higher than the national average. He also discovered that 70 percent of divorces in Utah happen within 10 years of marriage, while residents of other states only saw 33 percent of their marriages end within the same period. Not only are there more divorces in Utah, but compared to the national average they happen much earlier in the relationship.

"They are getting married too young," said Thorana Nelson, a USU professor in the FCHD department said about USU students. "They are not taking the time to explore themselves as individuals."

Nelson said students have so much of their time consumed by socializing, going to the gym, and their college work that it leaves little time to develop the relationship needed to ensure a lasting marriage. If you throw a marriage into the mix, students may experience "a pile-up effect of stress," Nelson said. At this point a student may lose their sense of self, and you can't relate to others unless you understand yourself, he said. He said this might help explain the high divorce rate among young adults.

Dr. Jean Lown, who is also a professor in the FCHD department, couldn't agree with Nelson more. She recalled when she first came to Utah from Rhode Island she was shocked by the vast amount of young students who were married and had children. One of her greatest concerns with students marrying so young is that they are short changing themselves from great experiences. She said some of her greatest experiences were when she was single and just finishing her undergraduate work. She said she was able to visit South Africa and much of Europe.

"Most of my students never know themselves because of the cocoon of a culture they live in," Lown said. "College is a time period of getting to know yourself, but USU students never push themselves to look outside the box."

She made the point that often time students at USU grew up living in the same home with people very similar to themselves, and had friends with many of the same beliefs as theirs. Then they come to a university that is full of people very similar to them and live with their lifelong friends. They quickly find the special person and marry them then they miss out on "the college experience."

Lown also said that it would be difficult to find an actual USU student to say they don't like the way their life is shaping up. She said the Utah culture would not be one to openly express regret about something like their young marriage, but the actual divorce numbers don't lie; someone is unhappy out there. Lown said she is completely in favor of having her students wait to get married and have children.

"What's the rush, shop around for a spouse, and get to know their family," she said.

A false sense of self is not the only factor that has led to the divorce of so many Utah students, but often it's the frustration caused by financial obligations that plays a role in a marriage ending. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average income of Logan residents in 1999 was $30,779, $15,948 less than the statewide average. In the same census it was shown that 22.7 percent of Logan residents are below poverty level compared to state wide average of 9.4 percent. If only a portion of the 22.7 percent of the population who are below poverty level are Utah State Students, what kind of extra stress can that play on their young marriage?

A recent study by the Creighton University for Marriage and Family suggest that money is in the top three reasons for divorce. For those under age 29, the study showed that debt brought into marriage, the couples' financial situation, balancing a job and a family, and frequency of sexual relations were of greatest concern. If one were to throw in school an average married USU student would be a prime example for their study.

Paul Katzeff, a writer for Investor's Business Daily, said that money typically brings two problems into a relationship. One, couples find out they have different financial goals, or two, couples get "jolted by nasty surprises" concerning their spouse's debt, pre-marriage.

Lown agrees. She said that before a person gets married they should look into their fiancé's driving record, credit report, and student loan situation. Lown said that before the girl was married she loved riding around in the huge pick-up truck, and then soon after the marriage she realizes that she will be the one making the payments on that truck.

So if married students are struggling financially then they will only have to find a way to work more hours? Dr. Joyce Kinkead, Vice Provost for Undergraduate Studies and Research doesn't think so. She said that national literature recommends that the most students should work is 15 hours a week or it will diminish their college experience.

Mike Hylton, a recently married music education student at Utah State, disagrees with a lot of the negative feedback he gets from USU professors concerning his marriage. He feels that since his marriage to Jesse Hylton his studies have improved but recognizes he has had to sacrifice a few things, like the amount he able to practice playing his instruments.

"Being married gives me more direction and a purpose to finish my education," Hylton said. "I've done the college thing; staying up late, being single and such. I moved on to bigger and better things." Hylton believes that because of the Utah religious culture, and the missions that many of the USU students have participated in for the LDS church, by the time they are 21 they have already experienced what a typical 24 year old has experienced in their lifetime. They are a more mature group of people, he said, and more prepared for marriage.

For those that do decide to marry while still attending college, it is not an absolute grim future. Many students claim their young marriages to be successful. Ashlee Cogburn, whose husband is a senior environmental design major at Texas A&M, said they thought about waiting until her husband was graduated to go through with the wedding, but instead were married last December. Ashlee's husband Josh said the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and likes the idea of having someone to share your trials with.

"If anything bad comes up I know she's here and I can talk to her about it," Josh said. "It's nice to know I can always come home and talk about my problems."

Then there are others that did wait until the graduation date and they regret their waiting. Such as Jennye and Michael who waited for two years for them both to complete their schooling. Looking back on it Jennye said if she had the money and could have done it again, she wouldn't have waited the two years. Often times, she said, they had to fight the urge to elope.

A point mentioned by T.A. Dolbrik-Vorobei is that postponing a marriage will never stop sexual relations, which leads to unwanted pregnancies that often end in abortions, increased infertility, or the giving up of infants.

With so many programs out there to assist young people, getting an education and being married at the same time can still be done, and nearly stress free. Jakob Brazell, financial aide counselor at USU, said that with the amount of married students attending Utah State, a few more Pell Grants are awarded. Brazell said he feels the Stafford loan program is "mostly OK" but recognizes there are a wide range of those who are responsible and those who are not. Brazell said that USU students tend to be more responsible in paying back their students loans. He said that only 2 percent to 3 percent default on their loans, and the national average is much higher.

Doris Theune, senior vice president of the wealth management division of Bryn Mawr Trust said it best: "The solution is communication. By talking candidly before getting married, couples can avoid finding out too late things they needed to know beforehand."

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